cripchick's blog

my throat is still burning
my skin still seething
my bones still outraged

that white cop still won’t get more than 2-4 years and
involuntary manslaughter is still
considered
“progress”

our bodies our blood our babies
still means nothing
to nobody and

oscar grant in oakland
sean bell in new york
kenmara ‘k-roc’ davis in fayetteville, nc
they’re all
still dead.

white people are so quick to stake their claim into something. put out a statement. write a book. name their programs and committees after something. bring it up in a meeting as the rad person who picked up this cooooool thing from their activisty friends of color.

you know. the next revolution.

sometimes i get confused because these white folks i see speaking for/about disability justice are the same ones that talk forever about their white privilege. i’m like… “well, disability justice IS exciting —i want to move on it too!!!!…well, they are an important movement link and it’d be cool for people doing disability rights work to know what we are talking about…well, they might be the face of this, but they are working with people of color.”

but no. the disability justice movement deserves to take its time to create, unfold, and be what it wants. white people need to challenge themselves to build a relationship with disability justice before/instead of acting like they got it on lock. i am just learning what disability justice means (personally and politically) and am not sure how one workshop could ever an expert make.

part of the beauty/realness of disability justice is that it acknowledges all of the (violent) ways capitalism has trampled our lives. the nonprofit industrial complex, as a system, will always work against disability justice because it values product, output, “the now.” it is never about long-term movement building that leads to true, sustainable community building. as a person who falls in love with project ideas and wants to have them planned out, funded, and staffed by morning, unlearning the pace of capitalism is the most challenging part of disability justice for me. i want to stand on a hill, say i have this brand new thing that’s going to save us all and wave disability justice like a flag. but that’s not how it works, i don’t think.  i am in the process of completely rearranging my life because i know disability justice is is rooted in intentionality and to really have something that creates space for all of our selves, we must take our time to really sit in the complexities of all our realities and all of our dreams.

liberation takes time. so pls, yall. just chill.

—

words i use:

nonprofit industrial complex – a system of organizations, government, and people with power. when people power movements (like the black panthers and young lords) got too powerful, the government poured a lot of money into nonprofits. this became a way to control movements. for more info, visit INCITE!.

disability justice – an understanding that a.) centers disability and b.) understands that ableism, racism, heterosexism, capitalism, classism, all work together to oppress people. it is says the system will never save us so we have to build our communities for ourselves. it values people being interdependent instead of independence.

in one month, i will be taking a hiatus from organizing*. as i organize my last event with the disabled young people’s collective, i am thinking about all of the things i plan to do once this (important) (massive headache) event is over.

in this next year, i plan to:
take my time with everything.
focus on building relationships.
go on southern crip camping trips.
go to corea with other disabled and queer corean americans.
make media.
write for anthologies and zines.
buy a house.
have a mortgage.
find more queer PAs.
learn to cook.
maybe take some classes at the local community college to build skills i want.
tell all the stories and histories i don’t even tell myself.

having a list feels really important… a few months ago, i could not even imagine what my life might look like if i wasn’t a Community Organizer (c). i have carved a life/identity/purpose out of this work. now i am noticing all the ways that my life has become about creating a response, logistics, event planning. there are so many events i can’t even be good at what i’m organizing at anymore: everything is a rushed, half-said logistical nightmare. intergenerational frictions come up at events but there is not enough energy post-event to address them in a direct, loving way so relationships with mentors break. everything with comrades feels like drama because we are too busy to really be thorough with our processes so the issues stay there, never going away, just sitting at the bottom of every interaction. the timeline does not allow for people to be held accountable or skills to be really be shared so the same people end up doing everything. half of the low income/poor people of color drop off because they aren’t supported in way that allows them to really contribute. soon, most people with developmental disabilities have left too.

while in detroit last week, i lived with the creating collective access crew, a group of disability justice-hearted people taking care of each other during the amc and social forum. the way we came together felt like something i haven’t experienced in a long time. access looks like such a different thing from a disability justice model. part of my readiness to hang up my organizer hat is wanting the time to build deep, intentional relationships. this is rooted in disability justice.

these are the things i’m really feelin’ right now:

disability rights:
+ access gets simplified into a pre- approved accommodation check-list 1-2 people bottomline. checklist is good because this is often the first time people have basic access needs met.
+ general understanding is that people are entitled to access. it is a right. there are good things about this but it also often means we are only doing shallow/absolute basic access for each other.
+ people come from a place of wanting to change something concrete.
+ focus is in changing the minds of able-bodied people, whether that is awareness, laws, acknowledgment.
+ even if every goal of the disability rights movement was achieved, most of us still wouldn’t be free. the disability rights movement’s refusal to name ableism as a system of power has also been a way to maintain white supremacy, classism, heterosexism as what is right…

disability justice:
+ access is something that is a collective responsibility. it is a constant process. it is rooted in the multiplicity of our selves.
+ access is love. access is believing we need each other and interdependence is how we will survive.
+ people come from a place of longing for each other. each time we reach towards each other, we are cutting across isolation.
+ the work is in building relationships and changing ourselves. we know we will never find solution in the system.
+ DJ rests on the leadership of disabled people who have been pushed out to the margins of what is “right” “good” “clean” “acceptable” by mainstream society.

i am so excited to make room in my life to live disability justice.

* there are a lot of definitions for “community organizer”. here i mean organizer as a person who brings people together in one place for a specific purpose. i am referring to work i do unpaid and outside of my 40+ hour job.