dear personal care attendant,

this weekend i want to play with gender
wrap myself in it
it’s not every day i get to see queers
maybe to them it’s just another conference
but i don’t ever take it for granted

yes i’m gonna speak in queer
talk liberation
whisper and shout
get free, get free

i’ll get all lipglossed up, use eye shadow that make my eyes pop
you’ll curl and pin my hair so the highlights shine against the blackness of my hair
i’ll know i look fly in my red summer dress and matching cherry toenails

or maybe, just maybe, i’ll sport a fedora
it’s been sitting on my shelf, just begging to be worn— peacock feather and all
i could do this properly in a button-up shirt, pinstripe pants, new black-laced white sneakers…

either way
i will radiate

thank you for making this happen

thank you for being safe space, even when you disagree 

thank you

this summer, i had a chance to meet tiona m., director of the film black./womyn., a documentary that chornicles the experiences of black lesbians in the united states (some people interviewed are cheryl clarke, hanifah walidah, staceyann chin,..even just the youtube clips are amazing). recently tiona had the opportunity to screen black./womyn. in atlanta and witnessed some blatant homophobia *during* her screening *at* the venue in which it was taking place. tiona gave me permission to post her account of what happened below, in hopes that folks in atlanta will not patronize this venue, the plaza theatre. so much work to do…

full account below the cut.

I brought my film “black./womyn.:conversations with lesbians of Africa descent” to Atlanta with the hopes of finally giving the many women in the film who reside in the area the much deserved opportunity to finally see the film in its entirety as the rest of the country has throughout the year at various venues and events. What was not expected was the turn of events to which i have to even release this statement for. In short this is what happened during my screening December 3, 2008 at The Plaza Theatre in Atlanta, GA:

When i arrived to the venue to set up for the screening i was greeted by the staff on hand. I paid my second and final deposit for the screening and gave my exhibition print to the projectionist. The box office lady/concession worker also greeted me and allowed me to post posters for the film in the venue. I was given a table for ticketing which i placed next to the box office. Shortly after the screening had begun, I told the box office woman that i was going to sit at the bench by the door to my screening. After sitting there for a while, a few folks came in and out for tickets to upcoming screenings. Mind you most of these patron where white.

This is when the shit hit the fan.

Two black men (20 and 19) drive all the way from Macon, GA and Barnesville, GA to see Noah’s Arc Jumping the Broom at the Midtown Theatre in Atlanta, GA. They stop into The Plaza Theatre on Ponce De Leon and ask for directions from the Concessions and Box Office woman. She gives them the worst attitude I’ve seen all day, let alone by a box office worker in any venue. They continue to ask for some help to the theatre. She tells them she “already told them where it is”. They ask for exact directions. She tells them “she is not going to give them exact directions to her movie house’s competitor. The guys are clearly thrown off by the rudeness of the woman and say a few words and then leave. As they walk down the lobby and open the door to leave the woman yells “FAGGOTS” as they walk out the door.

At this point i was completely stunned. I got up and walked over to the woman and requested that she give me Jonathan’s number(the owner and manager). She kindly gave it to me and went back to work. I then walked outside to the two men who had gone to their car and proceeded to leave. I told them to wait as i called Jonathan and notified him of what happened, and also requested that he return to the venue to handle the situation accordingly. I then took the young men inside to wait with me until Jonathan arrived. When Jonathan arrived he was very apologetic and expressed concern about his employee and what she had said. I then inquired on what his plan of action was to rectify the situation. I also express my deep discomfort about the fact that i rented the venue for my film which happens to be a film dealing with LGBT issues, and how ridiculous it is that this would even happen in his business. Jonathan then went to get the Woman who said the slur and brought her back for an “apology” as he stated prior to leaving. When she arrived she stated to the men that she did not say anything to them let alone the word “faggot” as they left. It was then that i told her that not only did she say it loud and in a “singing” tone, but that i was sitting outside the theatre and heard her entire dialogue with the young men. At that point she started to fake cry and said that she did not say the slur. Jonathan then asked her what could she have said that sounded like the word”faggot”. The woman had no answer and repeatedly lied saying that she doesnt “use those words”.

Jonathan then said that he could not make her apologize for something she did not say. A turn i did not expect being that he was welcoming of me before my film screening. He also started to talk about how it was so hard to keep a business open such as his. Once he said this, i personally became offended and asked him how hard he thought it was for a black lesbian filmmaker to rent a venue and sale tickets to a screening of her own film. I also stated that this was not an issue about business and that it was an issue of an employee of his being highly offensive to two black gay men, and how could he support her when his theatre is screening my film about black lesbians?!! I also told the girl that not only was this offensive to the men, but as a member of the LGBT community that the situation could have easily been reversed. That the men could have be at the theatre hosting a screening of their film and that it could have been me coming through that door requesting directions, and in turn her calling me a “dyke” instead. I also asked her if she knew exactly who i was(a black lesbian), and if she understood what she was doing by not telling the truth to me being the director of a film currently screening in their theatre, with key figures in the LGBT community seated in the audience. At this point she asked to speak to Jonathan in the back and they left me and the two men in the lower lobby.

I then had the two men give me their contact information and explained to them that my film was currently screening in the movie theatre as we were speaking. After hearing this they were appalled that the woman would say such a thing given the circumstances. One of the men then walked to the back and expressed that he and his friend were leaving and that he did not expect the girl to be fired. I then told Jonathan that as soon as my film finished that i would alert the audience of what happened and vacate the premises of his theater as quickly as possible. I also said that before i left the city that i would contact every LGBT outlet possible to alert them of this incident and his lack of action in dealing with his employee. He then said a few more things about his business being hard to run and that the woman was crying so much that he doesn’t believe that she said the slur. He then said that he didn’t know what else to do, and asked me what more could be done. I then told him to cut me a check for the full amount of money paid for the rental of the venue and to this he said that he could give me the money order back that i have them earlier. I told him that was impossible to do since it was signed to him, and that i would wait until he secured cash for the full amount. He then left to get my money, and the men stated that they were leaving to go to their intended destination. I gave the men directions and walked them out the theatre. I then came back and sat at the very seat by the door entrance of the theatre that my film was screening in, and waited for Jonathan to return. Upon his arrival he handed me the cash and the proceeded to ask me if i possibly “misheard” what the woman said since i was sitting away from the box office. I then asked him if would like to stage an impromptu reenactment of the incident, and not to insult me by implying that i made this situation out of nothing. He then proceeded to tell me that i was defensive and walked off muttering a few words i couldn’t hear.

Once the film finished, i went to the front of the theatre and waited for the house lights to be turned on. I then told the audience what happened and that in protest and anger with the venue and its owner that i could not bear to stay in the theatre. I then asked that if they could bear the cold outside, i would be more than happy to answer any of the questions that they may have regarding the incident and the screening. The audience was shocked and vacated the theatre in a prompt manner and we all convened at the entrance of the outside of the venue. At no point did Jonathan or his staff apologize to the audience which was majority of black lesbians, as we exited the venue. It was then, outside of the theatre doors, that i asked for their attention and tearfully explained my regret for this happening and also apologized for not being able to provide a proper Q&A as advertised. I told them that Atlanta was one of the most important screening to me personally because i began my career as a filmmaker in the city and that many of the women first interviewed for the film were from the city as well. I explained why it took so long to get here and that i had to pay out of pocket to provide the screening at a venue that i personally saw fit to give them an experience that they could be proud of. I also asked for help in regards to the young men because since i was no longer a resident i may not be familiar with all of the outlets that may be able to help them in regards to dealing with this manner.

I think that this incident speaks to the work that still needs to be done in combating homophobia in its many ever-changing forms. As a resident of Atlanta for six years, i experienced racism and homophobia at a consistent rate. The majority of my life has been spent in the South. Still i NEVER would have thought this kind of situation would happen in any scenario during the short time i have visited Atlanta for this trip. I must admit that i was VERY hurt and am still reeling from the incident. This trip was a bit of a homecoming to me personally, and a chance to bring the work that took me 5 years to create in order to combat such behavior. The fact that two black gay men on their way to support another LGBT film, had to drive a long distance to even to attend a screening, and then endure such blatant homophobia was validation for the importance of LGBT film and activism.

For assistance in helping the two young men with addressing this issue- I am asking for folks to send me any info that i can pass on to the men, to assist them in taking action against the theatre. I also would like to alert the LGBT community and allies about The Plaza Theatre and at least give them the option to patron a business where something as offensive as this situation could happen.

Tiona McClodden
Producer/Director
“black./womyn.:conversations with lesbians of African descent.”
&
“Baby Makes Me”(in production)

Dear Wheelchair Dancer,

Hey sister— thanks for your blog post on the elections, racism, prop 8. I’ve been in such a funny place lately after all of this and your writing really helped me in naming why.

Sylvia posted a tweet the other day about wanting to wrap Obama in bubble wrap, Teflon, a condom, Fort Knox— anything— to keep him safe until January 20th. That’s kind of how I feel about my emotions. And I hate to sound cliché here, but also my hope. My head knows what this election means and what this election does not mean but I still want scream Yes We Can!, rock my Obama shirt in classes full of Republicans, and, well, just bask in the symbolism of it. I want to believe in what everyone else believes in for more than one night, even if a lot of it is compartmentalizing what I know and not thinking about things folks like Moya and so many others are sayin’. So I close my door, download all the free mixtapes people are producing for Obama, and bullshit around happily.

But then it changes, right? At least it did for me, couldn’t even last a week. I read a message from VivirLatino about another mass ICE raid where over 100 people are rounded up in Florida and separated from their families. I hear white racist gay folks getting time on the tv and then blame Prop 8 on communities of color! I get an email from someone I really care about saying someone she knows was being beaten to death from what seems like a hate crime. With tears in my eyes I read of Duanna Johnson’s death and then see talk show radio hosts trying to leave comments on my blog saying they’re advocates while simultaneously disrespecting who she was. All these things tear me right from that cloudy good place. These things come at me like a million lightening bolts, reminding me of all the work that needs to be done and more importantly, who will be the ones doing this work.

It will be us. We will do it cause there isn’t anyone else but us, the people, la gente. So like our dear friend asks in her blog— as organizers, as artists, as community-builders, as dreamers, how can we learn from his campaign? How can we get the folks on the ground, many who weren’t believers in power of people before, to keep dreaming and ready to pick up other tools? How do we stay focused? Clear-headed? How do we build this bigger than non-profits, projects, campaigning?

And what about when the evil, the hate, the bondage is internal— How do we combat these things when they come in the form of our communities, people we love? I mean I didn’t truly understand what racism and white privilege really meant until I got involved in social movements, you know? Is it possible to take these conversations happening post-Prop 8 and turn them into something that lasts? Will there be room to sew close our open wounds, our mistrust? And is it even worth it, trying to work it out with gays and lesbians who will always choose marriage, gentrification, assimilation and capital building as priorities, when so many fellow queers are homeless, forgotten, oppressed, closeted, beaten, denied their humanity?

I’m really hoping you have some answers, that someone has answers. In the meantime, thanks for being who you are, for our gchats, for the love…

In solidarity and w/ love,
cripchick

I’ve been thinking a lot about the strategies the disability community has used in responding to the movie Tropic Thunder. I wanted to wait until the initial media coverage passed so this conversation could be held more internally and not distract from the message we were putting out there.

The amazing Jess Hoffman from Makeshift magazine was recently a guest blogger at Feministe (h/t to Sudy) and has been writing a lot about capitalism and feminism. In part of Jess’ last post, she built on the words of Sister Lorde, Moraga, Anzaldua, and others to talk about why intersectionality was needed in feminist communities. Jess pointed out that this intersectional analysis created by radical women of color has often been misinterpreted and stolen by feminists to say something along the lines of “because *some* women have multiple identities, we need to address their experience” instead of “all systems of power are linked and a multiple-issue analysis is the only way to defeat oppression”.

Excerpt:

So it’s not just that some individual people experience multiple forms of oppression, or even that all people have some kind of personal relationship with all systems of oppression… but also that the systems of power themselves—racism, economic hierarchy, sexism, heteronormativity, ableism, etc.—are working together.

Included in our activism against ableism and the use of the r-word in Tropic Thunder have been statements from disability organizations and disability activists along the lines of “People can’t say this word or that word (insert racist remark) but they can still say the r word!”, “Disability is the last frontier!”, “When making Tropic Thunder, Dreamworks brought in African American consultants to make sure the movie wasn’t offensive—where were the disability consultants?”

Though I think I know what this feeling is based on—the frusteration of ableism not being addressed as oppression in activist communities and mainstream society—I believe this short-term strategy or sentiment absolutely cannot be a part of our activism. Not only does this strategy alienate disabled people who have multiple identities but it does nothing to address oppression. When we say these kinds of things, it says that we believe racism, heterosexism, sexism, etc are personal conflicts that happens between people (and that we’ve overcome!), not institutions in which our soicety is based upon. It ignores families being ripped apart by ICE raids, trans women of color being killed everyday, and the ever-growing prison industrial complex.

One leader in the disability community rightfully pointed out the need to stick with the issue of the r-word and not swamping it with 17 other disability issues. I agreed with him, afterall, our society and movement have a history of silencing people with intellectual disabilities. But still, why weren’t the other connections made? How come we chose not to talk about all of the other horrible imagery (particularly against Asian-Pacific Islander folks)? Some responses I’ve seen to this question have been that it is more strategic. Is it really strategic in the long run and if we decide that it is— strategic for who?

I believe our activism has to be bigger than our own oppression but if you want, let’s talk about strategies for our movement. I believe it IS strategic to talk about other systems of oppressions—how else can we expect to have the system of oppression we face as disabled people recognized? How can we even go into social justice work uwilling to talk about the privileges we have?

This can’t be done in a superficial, let’s-high-five-Dr.-King way. What good is our activism, anyways, if it’s based on the backs of others?

mia mingus accepting the creating change award:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WByTXqZb2jQ&rel=1]

“i want to honor those of us who know we can not separate heterosexism* from ableism* and allow disability issues to be seen as secondary issues; those of us push disability into the conversation even when it’s hard and unpopular, again and again; those of us who are not a part of the nonprofit industrial complex* and who do not work for an organization but whose activism and work is no less valuable; and especially, those of us who are living at the intersections of race, gender, sexuality, and disability and know that multi-issue politics are not just a winning strategy but indeed they are the only way that we will survive. we all need to bring disability into our work and confront ableism as a major system of oppression that works hand in hand with heterosexism to oppress queer people. we can not talk about bodies without talking about disability! it means something to be queer and disabled and we need to talk about that.” —mia

(there may be some typos in this but wanted to transcribe for anyone who needed it in another format. it’s a must read!)

*definitions:
heterosexism: discrimination against queer people, making queerness unnatural
ableism: discrimination against disabled people with the idea that having a disability is bad or unnatural
non-profit industrial complex: system of non-profit organizations that has become professionalized and business-like

“You’re talking to somebody who talked about gay Americans in his convention speech in 2004, who talked about them in his announcement speech for the president of the United States, who talks about gay Americans almost constantly in his stump speeches.”
  —Barack Obama

Ohhh. Well, yeah, sure, go ahead and support funds raised from people who blatantly hate queer people then.  That whole mentioning-us-in-your-speech thing makes it okay. Here’s your cookie. I hope it’s worth it.

Like a commenter on Pam’s House Blend says, what about talking about ENDA or how you voted yes on the Matthew Shepard Act?

The whole Donnie McClurklin thing (Obama endorsing an ex-gay homophobic gospel singer) not only makes me furious but also really bums me out, particularly since I was coming to terms with Obama (still an ardent Kucinich supporter though) after reading Barb’s post at Lucky White Girl and have always found hope and peace and redemption while listening to McClurklin’s music.

But yeah. Faith gets harder when the Christian community and queer community have to be so at war with each other. Thanks, Obama my dear friend, for feeding into it and throwing us under the bus.