i recently came home from a whirlwind 12 day trip to portland and san francisco.

my time in portland felt much like a “tour” in that it was not a conference or gathering, it was about seeing me (think “come see cripchick speak here!” x 5 times… and people actually showing up). i kind of fell in love with the gratification of facilitating successful workshops, breaking ableism down and having ppl get it, and getting the respect of people i respect. there was a time where i was looking around the room in portland and was surprised that i could say i hadn’t met one straight person all day — i was completely immersed in queer crip community. (sad thing is i could also say that i hadn’t met one person of color, portland is WHITE yall).

and then i went to san francisco, right?

it was even more mind-blowing. here i was in community with artists, poets, organizers. the sins crew. azolla story fam.

carved out a routine rooted in crip interdependence.
slept in late and started my mornings writing poems under the shade of a lemon tree.
spent the days engaged in conversations with queer crips of color.
stayed in the home of the most generous person i’ve ever met.
spontaneously met up with two queer koreans, only to hear that there were more of us.
explored an accessible city.
ate delicious food.
got deliriously lost in a crush.

no matter where i travel to, every trip home always begins with a deep sigh of recognition. i love the south. can’t imagine living anywhere else. at the same time, coming home was really hard this time. although this is where i belong, it is also the place where my reality is one rooted in military chain of command culture, heteronormativity/hypermasculinity, and the fact that there is not much room for non-black folks in people of color organizing (very much a black/white dichotomy). i kind of don’t know what to do with my sadness. the “right” answer seems to be to move (whether that is another town/city in the south, like durham or atlanta, or another region) but this… is my home.

a friend/fellow organizer once said that this is the question every southern queer faces: “stay in your home of origin or [if even possible,] move to a place where you have more resources?”

wish i had an answer.

A few hours after the Autistic Self Advocacy Network
wrote to the Autism Society of America York Chapter (ASA York) about a billboard that dangerously compared autism to a national kidnapping emergency and uses puzzle piece symbolism [not being a whole person], they received a response saying that the billboard would be taken down.

Excerpt of the letter ASAN sent to ASA-York:

As we, Autistic adults and youth ourselves, attempt to assert our voices in the national conversation about us, we find ourselves characterized by those who often speak on our behalf as burdens on society, as not fully present within our own bodies and as individuals devoid of the full measure of personhood and humanity. Such mischaracterization threatens our efforts to be included in our homes, our schools, our communities and our collective society. By making the autism message one of fear, stigma and hostage-taking rather than one of civil rights, inclusion and support for all, our desire to be recognized as full and equal citizens in our communities is hurt.

Picture of the billboard:

Reads: If 1 in 150 American were kidnapped, we'd have a national emergency. We do. Autism.

Last year it took 21 disability organizations campaigning together via blogs, mainstream media, and thousands of phone calls and letters to have similar billboards taken down. In a time where disabled people are the last to be seen as experts of their own lives and where the public understanding of autism is strongly shaped by those with eugenic “cure”- oriented perspective (e.g. Autism Speaks, Jenny McCarthy), let’s celebrate self-determination being recognized and autistic self advocates being heard!

The response to ASAN from ASA-York President Amy Wallace:

Dear Friends in the Autism Community,
Regretfully it has been brought to the attention of the Autism Society of America – York Chapter – that our recent billboard campaign has caused undesirable confusion within the community. The intention of the billboard campaign was aimed at generating awareness to the general public and was in no way created to cause a malicious stir within the community. As a parent of a severely affected nine year old with Autism I can truly understand your passion regarding advocacy and respect for our children.

We thank you for your thoughts and concerns. I apologize for the misunderstanding and want you to know we will promptly remove the billboard posting.

Respectfully yours,

Amy Wallace

To email Amy and thank the ASA York chapter for taking the billboard down, email her at amywallace3@gmail.com

Big ups to ASAN and autistic independent media makers (Joe, Abfh, Nicocoer) who made this happen!

“race plus disability divided by sexuality = huh?”

the transcript of this amazing piece is below the cut, courtesy of the brilliant, resilient, truth-illuminating, ground shaking and breaking artist leroy moore. proud to call this artist friend. check out his other work, like sins invalid and krip hop, and be ready to be blown away by this man.

if you don’t know… now you know. ;)

Man to Man Talk

by Leroy Moore

Hey you stop stop I’m right behind you
I’m Black like you my brother
Yeah the Black Kripple
Look at me look at me
Hear this hear this
(Play song for 28 seconds slowly lower the volume)

But lets go back born D O A, Dead On Arrival
Caused lack of oxygen to the brain
CP Cerebral Palsy POC Person Of Color
Big Black football player, my dad
In the waiting room didn’t like the doctor’s news
Men in white suites pumping my chest, eyes opened
Welcome to the living Leroy

My life
Black and disabled
Home was stable
Adults thought I was unable

Like a penny I have been
Flipped dual identities
My two communities don’t want me
Felt like I was homeless

My childhood hunts me
Children were ruthless
Racism & Ablism created a mask

I continue to see single Black mothers with their disabled sons
Husbands gone could not deal
Mothers strong had to be real
Black disabled boys from broken homes
Lingering questions, did Dad leave because of me

Girlfriends not a reality
Women want my advice but can’t see me as a mate
Black disabled men are in a stalemate
Will I die a single man?

But it’s another cold night
The Iseley Brothers singing Between The Sheets
While Black disabled men sleeping on the streets
sex education came from the Lusty Lady
It’s a lonely world

Self –empowerment, self love, putting society’s attitudes on the shelve
Black sisters don’t know what they are missing
She, a Black woman
Me, a Black disabled man
We were trained to fear, compete and not talk to one another
Is this why all my intimate relationships are with White women

Race + Disability divided by Sexuality = uh uh
I was 3\5 of a person
With a disability I’m not even on the goddamn scale
Disability & Masculinity? Can we talk?

Black Masculinity has to make room for my body
Ask Teddy Pendergrass
The Black Stallion of the 70’s & 80’s
Regained his sexuality as a wheelchair user

Now that is the true strength of a man
Black Disabled and Masculine
Morris Day, What Time Is It? Bring me a mirror
Cause I know I’m fine

Masculine mixing with feminine
I came from a woman and a man
My sexuality goes deeper from what you see
But you treat me like Ralph Ellison’s Invisible Man
Bumping up against our shadows

It took forty years to walk with my head up
Saying Black is beautiful and
Disability is gorgeous
Too sexy for society’s straight jacket
Wearing my sexuality on my sleeves
My body, mind and soul stepping into the spotlight

You see society tries to put me down
But you can’t keep a good man down
This is a message to all my black disabled brothers
Feel your masculinity and step into your sexuality
Brothers, it’s time we ALL had a man-to-man talk”

from wood’s rules:

My clients frequently express hatred of and disgust toward their bodies. Interestingly, however, more of them express shame that they are not able to work than over the perceived inferiority of their bodies. The men aren’t macho enough if they have disabilities, the women not sexy enough. But in a materialist society, apparently, the ultimate failure of the disabled is that we don’t make money.

Never mind that discrimination is responsible for the largest portion of the wage-differential between, say, able-bodied white guys at the top and disabled women of color at the bottom–it still feels to us like some kind of character failing on our parts. Never mind that materialism is a rotten way to value people–we still feel like losers.

From ADAPT, our brave warriors who, on their third day of protest, faced massive storms and accessible restrooms being taken away:

ADAPT activists begin third day of protest at Democratic National Headquarters

Washington, DC – As dawn breaks in the nation’s capitol, approximately 30 disability rights activists, most with disabilities, from ADAPT continue their vigil on the sidewalk surrounding the headquarters of the Democratic National Committee (DNC).

On Tuesday, July 21, 2009, in 25 cities across the nation, ADAPT groups took their message to Democratic Party offices and its leaders. Forty ADAPT members in Washington, DC protested in the DNC headquarters, and were physically removed by law enforcement from the building at approximately 6:00 PM, although no arrests were made.

The protesters were demanding that the Democratic National Committee:

1. Apologize for creating Medicaid’s institutional bias which has forced millions of seniors and individuals with disabilities needlessly into nursing facilities and other institutions;
2. Issue a public statement calling for elimination of the institutional bias in 2009 either as part of healthcare reform or as separate legislation, known as the Community Choice Act (S 683/HR1670); and
3. Facilitate a meeting between ADAPT and Democratic leaders, including Representative Henry Waxman, Senator Max Baucus, and Valerie Jarrett of the White House to develop a plan to pass the Community Choice Act.

In most cities, the Democratic committees agreed to relay ADAPT’s demands to the DNC. In some cities, the staff committed to working with ADAPT to influence the leadership of the DNC to support ADAPT’s goals. “Our state party leaders really worked with us to identify how they could help us influence the national leadership,” said Nadina LaSpina, an ADAPT organizer in New York City.

However, in our nation’s capital, the DNC still refuses to meet any of ADAPT’s demands. During the vigil’s second day, ADAPTers chanted and distributed informational materials. “We even were able to meet with Members of Congress right here on the street who expressed interest in becoming co-sponsors of the Community Choice Act,” said Cassie James, an ADAPT organizer from Philadelphia.

As darkness fell, the vigil continued and many of the protesters went to sleep in reclining lawn chairs and sleeping bags, some in tents and others under a lean-to constructed from PVC pipe and plastic tarps in front of the DNC. Several large banners throughout their sidewalk encampment show the group’s support for the Community Choice Act.

The ADAPT members in Washington, DC are committed to maintaining their presence in front of the DNC offices in an attempt to pressure Democratic leaders to work with ADAPT to discuss plans to pass the Community Choice Act.

##

Follow them on twitter or check out more about their action at www.adapt.org/takeaction to stay in the know and support CCA. Free our people!!

i’ve been wanting to talk with others about gender and disability but have been very uncomfortable with writing things as i’m not a gender scholar (damn you academic industrial complex!) BFP’s recent post, what is butch?, is pushing me forward and i’m hoping that this can be a place where we can talk about gender x disability x queerness x everything.

in the comment section of that post, BFP tells another person she reads me as a total femme. i don’t know if other people would be as delighted as i was but my natural reaction was the immense need to take that as a compliment— with disability being understood as such an asexual thing, no one ever affirms me even having gender. the traditional disability narrative puts me in this place of being something else: that if gender was a binary, i’d be in a third gender realm. (my friend mia has the perfect example of this, bathroom symbols that have the man, woman, and then wheelchair*). our bodies are objects that are not supposed to belong to us and by recognizing our genders, it implies that we own our bodies, think about them, take pleasure in them. maybe this is a big jump but to me, affirming our gender also recognizes our personhood: it says we are human and have a right to not have our bodies raped, abused, sterilized, experimented on, harvested, and more… 

it’s only recently that i’ve been thinking about gender presentation. maybe this is because i finally have a PA who knows that part of her job is being patient in helping me try different outfits and that if i don’t like the way something looks, i should take it off. if i want to see if a fedora, vest, dress pants combo looks good, i can.  if i want to stand in a dressing room and try on every piece of lingerie in the store, i can. a lot of disabled people don’t get to do that, especially with so many of us living in institutions, having unpaid caregivers, experiencing days when we are in total pain or lack energy, etc. there needs to be a word for disabled people taking part in intentional, pleasurable gender play in their own way. part of the oppression we face is being asexualized, otherized and denied gender identity so playing with gender and demanding respect for our identities is resistance and a refusal to accept that ableist narrative…

i don’t know that i’m femme, butch, etc, i just know that i like to play with roles and gender. for me, the word to describe this gender play or personal recognition of identity i’ve been having lately is cripchick. cripchicks (or gimpgirls) are fierce, strong disabled women who interact with the world on their terms. when i am cutting up a tshirt everyone is wearing so it looks good on me, that’s my way of being a cripchick. lately i get a lot of pleasure in mixing up disability with a fierce femme show so i am insistent on that tee looking good on me, even if i do it in a way that traditional femmes may not. as cripchicks, we’re dealing with issues that force us to create our own relationships with gender presentation but we do it and feel good about it.

do you know how powerful that is? for disabled women (w/ all disabilities), what does gender look like for you?  am i wrong here?

*sidenote about bathrooms. i think the wheelchair accessibility/bathroom safety connection is totally powerful and love places that have a single stall gender neutral bathroom where people are safe. that’s not what i mean with the example mentioned above about third gender.