cripchick's blog

mala linked to a story about a young autistic boy, Francisco Hernandez Jr, who went missing and road the NYC subway system for 11 days. her response to the story reallly struck me…

“I live in NYC and am angered that this is the first I am hearing about a Latino child missing for 11 days. I would have been on the lookout for real.”

and a commenter on the article…

“if only he could memorize skylines and drew them, then maybe someone would care.” -jacque mehoff

as well as Francisco’s mom…

“Maybe because you might not understand how to manage the situation, because you don’t speak English very well, because of your legal status, they don’t pay you a lot of attention” (on lack of support from police)

and Francisco himself…

“Nobody really cares about the world and about people.”

(if you are curious, this is what “intersectionality” really looks like. lives of disabled youth of color being structurally unvalued… or immigration status x disability x race x xenophobia x class… ).

*

intersectionality= idea that all issues (race, disability, etc) are connected and if people are going to be free, society has to address them all, not just one.
structurally= big picture, by the people with power
xenophobia= being scared and not liking “outsiders”, normally people from other countries.

cripchick: i feel so queer today 3:10 PM
friend: you are so queer
cripchick: yeah??
friend: of course, you are like a queer super star

i need to write. write or die. benefit of being a disability organizer is that i can be around people who share my disability politic all day everyday. i can also be around people of color locally and globally— folks who understand the landscape of my community, folks i can feel safe with. but people who have a queer politic? folks who don’t think my style of loving is selfish/greedy? folks who get white supremacy* AND heteronormativity* AND disability?… i only know them through writing. poetry circles. zines. media collectives. old audre lorde texts. blogs. what happens if these words dry up? i feel like i am a little bird sitting on the edge of a branch, it’s fall or fly and i never know which way i’ll go.

-

last week i went to meeting in atlanta with folks in the reproductive health field who are creating a model for including disabled people in programs. i was kind of amazed to learn that a.) they weren’t coming from an administrative service-y model (where folks “giving” the service have all the power) but one that is based on ableism* analysis and 2.) that their grant was less than $2500, they weren’t doing this for money. i am so curious as to how they got here— who planted the seeds? who did all the groundwork ? i met a cool health equity* activist (who is Deaf! and queer! and so on point!) who has been working in the field with them and was a part of the workgroup, too. it kind of reshapes my understanding of folks doing work in the academy*, policy world, media reform* arena, social work field, etc, even if i still don’t understand how they have the patience for the loneliness that must come with slowly chipping away at a system, the only gripped chisel in sight. so much respect for them though.

*
white supremacy = system of power that keeps white people in power
heteronormativity= when society tries to make one gender and sexuality normal to keep straight people in power
health equity = looking at access to things that keep people healthy and why some people do not have this access
the academy= institution that studies people and the world. this often often happens at colleges.
media reform = work people do to change mainstream media from the inside.

if you are nondisabled and working in the disability community…if you are white and working with people of color…if you are an adult working with youth…or, quite often, if you are a nondisabled white adult working with disabled youth, many who have been abandoned by our education system because of racism/classism/ableism…basically if you are a person who has authority and privilege and are working with people who traditionally have not…

think hard as hell before you leverage “professionalism.”  if it silences people, you are not helping us, let alone being an ally. there is constructive criticism and there are times when things, like “tone” and “professionalism” are used as a strategy to steal people from their power. it’s not a new technique. we know it when we see it.

(& frankly, i do not agree w/ your definition of professionalism. i would much rather hire people who make spelling mistakes and do not always use the right words if they are liberation-oriented. professionalism to me is being able to interact with one’s community in a way that recognizes humanity, is accountable to learning, and builds respect among people. you can keep your little bureaucrat. how ableist & nonprofit industrial complex-y of you. gross.)

i’ll scream it again & again—

no matter how eager, how radical, how cute you are

i do not exist for your fancy of freakery.

i could care less about feeding your taste for exotic flavors. i was not born to stroke your fascination of marginalized people.

no matter how much you are learning, no matter how much power/money/influence you carry, no matter how much you always know the right things to say,

my body is not for you to examine, conquer, or casually observe
as if the strands of my hair were nothing more than pages of a magazine

the creator did not craft these hands, lungs, feet of mine so you can feel good about yourself. my issues are not for you to solve.

who said you could analyze me? i am not a hobby, a project, a case study

nor will i ever be a pet to collect
in that menagerie of yours

instead i am harriet tubman using her disability to trick slavemasters, survey lands, and carve out paths to freedom
i am the spear waiting in datu lapu lapu’s right hand, standing with thousands ready to slice the colonizer’s head off of magellan’s body
i am the body casts frida kahlo painted on
i am the freedom song my joseon ancestors sung, the taegukis wrapped around their foreheads as they demanded an end to tyranny

no matter how quick i was to hand you this hard-earned self-determination in the past, know that from now on, you are being watched. vigilantly.

flip it, spit it out in a poem, brand it on the tip
of your tongue
do whatever you have to do
to remember