it’s like he’s reading my brain. i need to do something creative to get out of this funk. adriel luis on his writing process (or lack thereof):
it’s these moments that i’m left without anymore excuses. because i don’t have a hectic daily agenda filled with traveling and group meals and rehearsals and shows. for real…besides eating and shitting what other devices can i really be left with besides creating the art that i know i need to create in order to take me to my next plateau? i allow myself to get caught up in a whirlwind of mundane tasks that leave me feeling exhausted but unfulfilled. how many upcoming gigs can i check up on? find any new songs on the internets? social networking pseudo-identities in tact? room clean? listless ichat conversations tended to? bills paid? inbox sorted? ANYTHING but actually sitting down and indulging in the only activity that–when i actually get myself to do it–allows me to go to sleep feeling like i’ve had an accomplished day.
wow. he is *totally* reading my brain too…
i seem to be able to break out of it for a couple of days on occasion, and feel really accomplished, then completely unintentionally fall straight back into it again… like last week, i thought i would write a blog post every day, but did 2 days and then… stopped, and now it’s 10 days later. even with other people’s posts i intend to comment on, the same happens, and it REALLY frustrates me… i think some of it is impairment-related stuff for me, but still it frustrates me because i feel i really do have the potential to be far more productive writing-wise, and have a HUGE list of topics i want to write about (some dating back over a year), and it just gets longer…
did you delete the post you had up earlier today, about xmas and family relationships, that i intended to come back and comment on? oh well, hope you are having a good xmas anyway (i am at my highly apolitical parents’ house, bored and unable to sleep, and sort of pissed off at myself for going along with the consumerist/nuclear-family charade when each year i tell myself i won’t do it next year… oh well, at least i’m having a *much* better winter emotionally than the last few…)
Posted by shiva on December 24th, 2008.
it made me so happy to come home yesterday and see your comments, shiva!! i’m glad you stopped by, seeing your comments makes me feel like we need to get back to emailing regularly again! i think i dropped the ball last time?
i meant to ask you before since you have brought up writing a few times, is it the act of putting ideas together that is hard for you? i have all these things i need to let out, whether that’s through writing, painting, poetry, but can’t seem to.
yeah, i did delete that post, i dunno— i felt like a grouch, talking about consumerism *on* christmas eve. i wish i didn’t though, damn wp’s new dashboard that allows people to click the delete button to easily!
Posted by cripchick on December 26th, 2008.