today the best friend drove into town so we could check out a christian campground located about twenty five minutes away from my house. we wanted to see if it would be a feasible host site for a retreat we are planning for a statewide disabled youth collective we are involved with. it was the perfect day— the campground overlooked a swampy lake and the weather was warm enough for both of us to walk around in tshirts. i don’t really spend a lot of time outside of coffee shop/house/etc so i really enjoyed feeling the wind in my hair and hearing the crunch of leaves under my wheels.
after a full day of planning, the best friend and i said goodbye and i realized how exhausted i was. normally, when he and i do event planning, i get this burst of energy that lasts for days and has me scribbling down all kinds of new ideas, projects, life goals, places to take our crew… i have to hide my phone from myself so i don’t call him up at 2 in the morning to see what he thinks about the potential of a new idea. today wasn’t like that though.. i am ready to crawl into bed, pop in some weird loveholic/billie holiday mix cd, and hide under the covers.
couldn’t figure out why until i uploaded pictures like the one below from my camera:
bathroom door that has an accessibility sign on it but a big step in front of it
ah, right. almost everything was inaccessible. circling buildings for a doorframe i might fit in or a bathroom i might be able to use didn’t seem difficult at the time but i am realizing how tiring it is to navigate a space that was not designed to include you. since i am the only chair-using nonwalking person coming on this retreat, the conversation was more “well, we could put a ramp here…”, “if we move this…”, “maybe we could have our meeting in a different room…”. it would have been completely different if there were other chair-users i had to look out for—then this compromise would not have been an option—but as the only one who needed this accommodation, i felt like i had to balance out my needs with what was better for our budget, the fact that the space would work out for everyone but me, etc. however, looking back at today, being able to get in a room is not a “need”, it is a literal requirement for any space i am going to be a part of. it is obviously not negotiable.
in the end, i insisted that we stay in the adult retreat center (v. youth campground), though my reasoning at the time was that things would be more organized and less of a hassle— not the blatant fact that it would be less of a hassle because the first place was completely inaccessible to me. i get really frusterated that often disability advocacy is so focused on physical barriers that the general public seems to think this is the only issue we face and that disability=wheelchair. it is also very exasperating to be a part of groups that have whole meetings about changing fines on signs from $100 to $250 while people in this same town, in this same neighborhood, are fighting so many life-or-death battles. (this is one of the many reasons i intentionally do not call myself a disability advocate, but instead a disability activist.) but damn, after today, i have a new found appreciation for those that do take time to talk to managers, advocate, file complaints, serve on event committees, or go to meetings about things like parking spaces. this is why i do not face this exhaustion of navigating spaces like this every day. once again i am left humbled and very grateful for those that continue to work to open up the world for me…
anyways. that’s it for today. going to bed now.
as a disabled-but-not-physically impaired activist who is involved in squatted, outdoor and otherwise DIY activist spaces, this kind of intersection comes up all the time for me…
like when, back in spring, there was an international weekend of squatted spaces, and in Birmingham we occupied a derelict warehouse and had a weekend of workshops (including one i co-presented on the disability rights movement), we used DIY solutions for access (like an old door as a ramp)… but we didn’t have any accessible toilets, any mains electricity (so lighting was an issue for VI people), any heating (so cold and damp were issues for several impairments), etc…
at the moment, for one activist film night that’s being planned, the venue isn’t wheelchair accessible, but a temporary DIY ramp and accessible outdoor compost toilet (inspired by the ones at the Camp for Climate Action) are being considered as options…
i often feel in situations in non-disability-related activism i’m involved in, when i’m trying to insist on things being accessible, that i’m not being taken seriously, or regarded as being “annoying” or “unneccesarily negative”, whereas a person with a visible, mobility impairment would be taken seriously and regarded as having a “right” to that argument – and then if i identify myself as a disabled person, because i “pass” as non-disabled that identity isn’t treated as serious or valid…
i feel weird about some stuff i’m into on a purely individual level as well – like, i *love*, am massively inspired by, hill walking/hiking and wildlife watching, but those activities are totally inaccessible to several of my closest friends (and accommodations not really possible), and i wonder if i should enjoy them when my friends can’t share in them, where privilege fits into it…
re the last bit, in a town i used to live in, i tried to get involved in the local coalition of disabled people – went to one meeting where agenda issues included right-to-life/euthanasia/eugenics, medical discrimination, and parking. guess which one the entire meeting (of maybe 15-20 people) was taken up by? 2 hours later, it was past the time we were supposed to be out of the room, taxis were waiting for people… and everyone but me was still talking about parking (i didn’t say a word all meeting). i walked out and didn’t come back…
Posted by shiva on December 24th, 2008.
first of all, a big rolling-on-the-floor LOL to eugenics and parking. feels so good for someone to agree! my dad once told me that when you’re doing work like this, victories we might consider small are important for momentum building. and i also know that accessibility is still such a *huge* barrier for our community so it’s hard to say anything… but at the same time when you have friends your age who are in nursing homes so they can’t get basic care or folks being hit by cars ’cause their bus routes got cut, other things also have to be on the agenda!
i’m so so so so very curious to hear about your involvement in these DIY communities! everything you mentioned has me very excited. there is this really cool social justice retreat center here in the u.s., the leaven center, and they’ve done a lot of work to make their place accessible. having seen that, spaces like this weekend seem like they have so much potential to really being inclusive for all if folks put work into it, you know?
i want to think more about what you said re: hiking but i am glad it is something you brought up. i really enjoy hearing about how people find inspiration through activities like that. i think laura hershey has been doing some writing on similar topics at her blog? http://www.laurahershey.com/
Posted by cripchick on December 26th, 2008.
Thanks for this blog its a really intresting subject!
Posted by Adventure Holidays on April 17th, 2009.