from wood’s rules:
My clients frequently express hatred of and disgust toward their bodies. Interestingly, however, more of them express shame that they are not able to work than over the perceived inferiority of their bodies. The men aren’t macho enough if they have disabilities, the women not sexy enough. But in a materialist society, apparently, the ultimate failure of the disabled is that we don’t make money.
Never mind that discrimination is responsible for the largest portion of the wage-differential between, say, able-bodied white guys at the top and disabled women of color at the bottom–it still feels to us like some kind of character failing on our parts. Never mind that materialism is a rotten way to value people–we still feel like losers.
There’s no end to the economic recriminations though… I feel bad because I make SO LITTLE money. I feel like, I’ve worked all my life and this is all I make? One reason I think so many people try to qualify for SSI/disability is because then they can have an ‘official’ reason for being poor. (Otherwise, of course, it’s our own ‘fault’.)
A creeping feeling of “Loserdom” is the state of modern American life. We all just have different reasons.
Posted by DaisyDeadhead on July 30th, 2009.
WTF? I’ve been reposted by cripchick! How cool is that!
Posted by Virginia S. Wood, Psy.D. on July 30th, 2009.
you’re so funny, virginia :P see you in nc soon?
dais, you’re so on point. also the whole thing of saying you can’t work (which is basically gov definition of disability) to finally feel like one has authenticity in their disability experience..
Posted by cripchick on July 31st, 2009.
I remember getting SO frustrated once with a client’s employer-sponsored disability insurance company that I wound up yelling down the phone that “You people wouldn’t consider Christopher Reeve disabled!” Not my finest moment.
But their basic stance seemed to be that if you can breathe (assisted breathing counts) you can work, which I found infuriating. Because if you can work–even if only theoretically–you don’t have a disability. Therefore, you don’t qualify for benefits.
Talk about invalidating. I still hate that company and their snooty agents, whose sole purpose in life seems to have been to hold on to as much of that premium money as they possibly could.
Posted by Virginia S. Wood, Psy.D. on July 31st, 2009.