when i talk about queerness and potentially, even polyamory, i am talking about looking at the way people relate to one another. i am talking about being intentional about our relationships, the people we love. i am talking about commitment, deep commitment that can’t be denied because it doesn’t fit in some kind of pretty convenient box.
so why you gather that i’m some kind of roly poly creature wanting to slide in and out of things, i don’t understand…
anyone that knows me knows i’m exactly the opposite of that. this part of me does not conflict with my secret romantic/nurturing/mothering side, it says that my love is too abounding to be contained by rules society makes for it.
there is nothing more important to me than understanding the way we interact and are connected to each other. don’t you think queerness and polyamory fits in perfectly with that?
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if you’re wondering where today’s habit forming love post is, day 5 was spent writing a private postal letter. see you on day 6!
so why you gather that i’m some kind of roly poly creature wanting to slide in and out of things, i don’t understand…
Because poly and non-monogamous people must be just that.
Monogamy is everything that’s good in the world. If you want something different you must just “not love him/her enough,” or even at all.
Posted by whatsername on March 29th, 2009.
there are many structures and stories telling us, that love is strictly limited. that you have a specific amount of love and when you have spent it, there will be no love in you anymore- just pain, loss and sorrow. so you should be very, very careful, aware and most important closefistied/mean when it comes to spent your love. just love one person. (only when it comes to children society allows the possibility to love more than one person at a time, without affirming, that you love one child not as much as the other)
but that’s not what i feel how love is for me. i am not greedy/ piggishly because i want to spend love to more than one person and recognize that i need to be loved by more than one. and being in love with more than one person does not mean, that i have to slice love in pieces – rather this could just be wonderful burst of love.
Posted by bloombeautiful on March 30th, 2009.
I am loving your analysis on different ways to love and intentionality around relationships. There is a big thing around polyamory, right now, I think.
I believe that to talk to about polyamory, it’s important to acknowledge for instance, who is gaining more, how does sexism, racism and current trends and history affect our vision and actions.
For instance, I maybe into polyamory, but my frankness and different ways of loving are taken aback by most men of color in my life, yet for every man of color that isn’t even into polyamory already has engaged in polyamorous relationships there’s certain advantages, in my opinion, polyamorous relationships in our communities for the men of color, white men in comparison to the other sexes. These are really fresh thoughts, so please disregard any general sweeps, or statements and/or challenge em.
Much love sistah…thanks for your thoughts.
Posted by Fabiola on April 1st, 2009.
FABI FABI FABI!! I totally hear you— that’s a big issue for me when I think about polyamory in a practical sense (intellectually I find it really important). Unless it was with other queer women/genderrebelling people of color, I’m pretty sure with the way I love, I would always be feeling like the woc on the side who gives but doesn’t get back (i’ve already felt that way in nontraditional relationships, let alone polamory). I think having a relationship like that w/ would require partners to understand these issues, to feel it in their bones
Posted by cripchick on April 1st, 2009.
[...] too have been ruminating on the recent conversations around (romantic and non-romantic love) other types of loves and the deconstruction of “traditional “ ways of expressing love, in community [...]
Posted by Love is in the air | Hermana, Resist on April 3rd, 2009.
[...] too have been ruminating on the recent conversations around (romantic and non-romantic love) other types of loves and the deconstruction of “traditional “ ways of expressing love, in community [...]
Posted by Love is in the air… — Fabmexicana on April 3rd, 2009.